Trip to the Hospital (again)

It started innocently enough. Runny nose, 2 days, not even a full on "eight hankies in an hour" affair.

Then the wheezing started, oh oh.

I started giving him the puffer (Ventolin, for the medically inclined) but wasn't sure about the Steroid. Mark McGwire ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_McGwire )obviously would've put his kid on 'em ASAP. But Tanner would have only got muscles in his spit, so where's the use in that?

Called the GP "come in tomorrow at 11:30" she ordered.

Got there at 11:30, trainee doctor came in at 11:50.

Now this wouldn't seem out of the ordinairy to most folks but I arrived there 7 minutes late once and was grilled by the receptionist.

"Did you have trouble finding parking?" She asked

"I'm sorry" I replied. She obviously interpreted this as a sign of weakness and came at me again.

"Why are you late?" I gestured towards the obviously sick 17 month old in my arms.

"The doctor is very busy I might have to reschedule"

That got me.

"well, yesterday he couldn't breathe so you might want to ask the doctor about that, you short, fat, miserable little cow"

Okay I didn't say the last bit, but that self important 22 year old did piss me off.

Anyway, the Trainee asked a few questions, I told her about the 2 previous occurrences including the 2 days in hospital. She put her stethoscope on his back, sat down and said "well what do you want from us?"

I thought of asking her if she'd ever been a receptionist but didn't.

I told her I wanted to make sure it was okay to give him the puffer and should I be giving him the steroids?

She said she would go and get the "real" doctor (my words).

Dr T. came in, Stethoscoped him and turned to the trainee and said "he's really wheezy, would you like to listen again?"

That was Wednesday.

"Come back and see me on Monday."

Monday, same symptoms, she sent us to emergency. DOH!

I won't go into the full details, We were there for 4 hours or so. It wasn't too bad.

The good news is there was a nurse there that explained the whole situation to me. She explained how her son had the same thing (lots of kids do) she told me that she starts him on the "roids" at the first sign of a runny nose because they take some time to kick in. Awesome.

Great nurse, but she'd have been a crappy receptionist.

My boy has a phobia.

There were supposed to be photographs with this blog.

In fact this blog had a different name originally. It was called "Tanners first haircut".

But it turns out he has a phobia.

I haven't narrowed it down yet. It's not like an allergy where you can go and get tested, it's a matter of elimination.

Here's the things I have to eliminate:

1. Squirty bottles with water in them.

2. Combs

3. Middle-aged Vietnamese ladies wearing too much make-up and/or perfume.

4. Scissors. Not that they actually came near him, but they were extremely close by.

She said "come back later"

"okay" I replied

"six month time."


I'll try the old Italian guy in a couple of weeks.

Maybe there'll be photos.

1979 F250 (Camper special)

Now the vehicle pictured above is a fine looking specimen of a 1979 Ford F-250 and NOT a picture of my 1979 F-250. Mine was a fine machine, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't as pretty as this one.

Mine was purchased from our dear friend Karen's father. Wonderful guy and proud to say we drank together once (that's a whole other story). Anyway, 500 bucks was the princely sum I paid him for it, and I was chuffed to bits. So chuffed in fact I drove away from his house in Nanoose Bay with the licence plates still sitting in a bag at his house.

Anyway, the thing about a 1979 ford f-250 Camper Special, is that first gear (yes it was a standard) is there for when there's a fully laden camper on the back. Otherwise first gear gets you a whopping 4 inches forward and then you have to change into 2nd.

It's all about gear ratios, torque and brake horsepower and, well, mechanical stuff that I don't need to bore you with, suffice it to say, 1st gear in a 1979 ford f-250 Camper Special is as about as useful as a ham sandwich at a Jewish wedding.

So, the point is you never use first, ever. Pulls away from a standing start totally happy in second. You don't have to slip the clutch or anything fancy, just put it in 2nd, little bit of gas, foot off the clutch and away you go. Easy.

How, I hear you wonder does that get me to a story about Tanner?

Well here he is



Granted, first glimpse you wouldn't say that it looks much like a 1979 ford f-250 Camper Special but believe me, I've seen it with my own eyes.

He sticks his feet out as far as they will go (approximately 2 inches) and then drags himself forward. But no further forward will he go. Pushing backwards is waaay easier he can go for yards backwards.

It seems, thus far, that if going forward will only move him a few inches then, for now, he's sticking to reverse.

Kid just needs to find second.

Marlin Fishing

I've never fished for Marlin but I've seen it on the telly.

Looks like this:



Fellas struggle for hours, they have to wear a special belt to keep the handle of the rod from spearing them in the belly, Quite often, another guy has to take the rod, he doesn't reel the fish in, no, he's just giving the first fella (it is, after all, his fish) a break. So he can catch his breath, regain his composure once again for the ensuing onslaught.

Ever tried putting an 18 month old in a high chair when he doesn't want to go? Same thing. Except there's nobody there to hold onto the struggling lump while you take a breather.

As most anglers do, I've crafted a technique. I swing him from side to side in a motion that eventually forces his legs, from thrashing uncontrollably, to swaying from side to side in unison (and together) and, as an angler would take that last yank that forces the fish into submission, I knock his feet against the arm of the highchair and in he goes.

Landed, now for the safety harness.

Not unlike when you've got your supper in front of you on the deck of the boat and all that is left to do is remove the hook from its mouth, that clip that holds him in place can bite just like the marlin.

Fish picture borrowed from here:

www.wexpl.com/SCFishing.htm

MICE!!!!!!

I've killed 4 in the last 24 hours, but they just keep on coming. For some reason Ilia (our Russian student) is videoing all the dead ones? Is he going to call the SPCA?

The smorgasbord under the high chair is probably the reason.

I've realized that cheerios have some kind of cloaking device, as soon as you've finished sweeping them all up another one appears.

Also some are made of rubber because they seem to be able to bounce huge distances and into nooks and cranny's which seem almost cheerioly (humanly didn't seem appropriate) impossible.

Driving me nuts

Here's what I wrote on Facebook.

"I'm saving one of Tanners "early morning diapers". Why? So when the next person says "welcome to parenthood" or "that's what you signed up for" I can beat them senseless with it. I think I know what I "signed up for" and what being a parent is all about".

Was I too harsh? I dunno, I don't remember getting comments like that 20 years ago, but then maybe I just forgot.

Anyway, when I get those comments it's usually after I've said something about how he kept me up all night or how I was starving to death in the hospital for 2 days. Well people, I'm just.... well.... saying.

Saying, is different to complaining.

New inventions

It occurred to me, as I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing dried up banana of the floor, that someone should come up with a way to market mushed up banana as an environmentally friendly adhesive. Because it sticks to just about anything.

Also, a millionaire, it would make of someone, if they could figure out how to turn drool into a form of energy. Tanner has produced enough in the last few weeks to run the street lights in a small BC town for, probably, months.