Saturday August 29th

Saturday 29th

Our bloody alarm clock didn’t go off. That’s what you get for relying on a baby to wake you up. He normally wakes at 2 -2:30 for some grub and then up at 6 - 6:30. Not today, Tracy went to the bathroom and it was 10 to 7.

Woke the little git up and went for breakfast, then off to the Great Wall of China.

Apparently everybody likes to get out of the city on the weekend and they all are going to the Great Wall……

We stopped first at the Jade factory which is run by the government so all of the Jade is guaranteed and it is the best place to buy. Turns out that doesn’t mean the cheapest place to buy : (

According to Jennifer (our tour guide) the profits go to the upkeep of heritage monuments such as the Great Wall, Summer Palace and the Forbidden City. According to Jennifer.

Off we then toddled to the great wall. A 45 minute journey on the Expressway, a journey on which one of the Lobb household decided that it was time to see what a Pamper can really do.

Once the integrity of Pampers had been checked and verified (and a replacement put in it’s place) we ventured on to the Great Wall. The irony of the Great wall is that it was built to keep out the screaming hordes of foreigners. The screaming hordes who now approach from inside the wall and but stuff at the 10 Yuan shop (like a dollar store). Even the beer was 10 Yuan.

It’s not that old, only 600 years, but the scale of the thing is astonishing. We were close to the bottom of a valley and it went, practically, vertically up the walls of the valley. How guys carried all that masonry up there is awe inspiring, to say the least.

Needless to say, I wasn’t inspired enough to venture past the 1st 37 steps to the 1st landing.

Some idiots, however, had climbed all the way to the top of the valley, same morons that do the Grouse Grind I expect.

Moron “I did the Grouse Grind on the weekend”
Me “Did you take 125lb bricks with you and build a wall?”
Moron “No.”
Me “Why did you go up there then moron?”

I wasted my energy really. Before surmounting the steps I went to the gift shop (not the 10 Yuan one) and they had shirts that said “I climbed the Great Wall”. I felt a pang of guilt, not actually having taken one step, so up to the first level I went (there’s pictures).

When I got back to the gift store, there was nobody serving, so I wasted my time.

We stopped for lunch at some kind of ceramic factory where Mike and I tried a thimble full of “Chinese white wine” Holy mother of god! 56%, could’ve stripped the hairs of a donkeys arse.
Food was good though.

We then drove past the Olympic stadiums. The Birds Nest is as equally an impressive feat of engineering as the Great Wall. We drove past because the kids had had enough and it was getting hotter. For some reason, beyond my comprehension, we then stopped at a silk factory. By now Tanner was as miserable as I have ever seen him. Just get us out of here.

Home. Nappy change, clean clothes. He’s back to his little giggling self.
But he’s sacked as an alarm clock.